Fat Girl Begone!
by D.E. Haggerty
Published: May 1st 2017
Genre: Romantic Comedy, Contemporary Romance
The Book Junkie Reads . . . Review of . . . FAT GIRL BEGONE! . . . Reading the blurb I was not sure if it was going to make me laugh or cry at the circumstances that Everly got herself into, out of, and surrounded by. After read for about an hour. I decided that I wanted to laugh and loudly. I had a good read with Everly and her menagerie of men. She was not a woman that was happy with her weigh, so therefore she was constantly on a diet of some kind or another. She works to change things after being dumped but not for being FAT. This read was good just for the fact that it showed you could love yourself for who and what you were without having to live up to others’ expectations of what you should be. I recommend this reading if you are looking for something to uplift you and add a little sunshine to your day.
I’m a total mess. My boyfriend dumped me – get this – because I diet too much. Not because I’m fat, mind you. Of course, this spurs me into the diet-fitness-revenge-plan of the century, which leads me to the gym and a scorching hot personal trainer. I even manage to make some cool new friends, including a millionaire if you can believe it.
Things are looking up! Naturally, that’s the moment my ex decides he wants me back, the personal trainer asks me out, and my millionaire male buddy decides to throw his hat in the ring. But that’s not enough drama. No, not for me. Because I’ve also lost my job and decided to start my own business.
Just call me Ms. Drama.
Warning: Bad language, bumpy roads, and embarrassing moments ahead. But there’s also more than a bit of romance and even, if we’re lucky, love. Fingers crossed.
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“You should totally jump that, chica.”
It’s Monday, and I’ve just survived another Zumba class. I only hit Tara once. Okay, twice, but who’s counting? I’m still trying to catch my breath and stop my heart from jumping out of my ribcage. None of which stops me from panting after my personal trainer. Before I get a chance to respond to her comment or tear my eyes away from Gabe’s epic ass, the rest of the gang joins Tara and me.
“What are you bitches yapping about?” Oh great, Charise didn’t just say that at maximum volume or anything.
“Everly taking her personal trainer for a ride.”
Oh my god. Please tell me no one else heard Tara announce that I’m lusting after Gabe. I hear giggles and murmurs of agreement from the other exercisers exiting the group exercise room. Of course, everyone heard. Charise, Tara, Naomi, and Jessie have one volume – embarrassingly loud.
I ignore them and head to the locker rooms with my head down. Of course, I can’t help but sneak another glance at Gabe. He’s doing squats for God’s sake! I defy any woman – or man for that matter – to not look. I keep my eyes glued to those glutes as I walk in the opposite direction. My foot hits something and before I know it I’m going down.
I end up sprawled on the floor of the gym. I look down at my outfit and sigh in relief. Good. No rolls of fat are showing. Thankfully, I had put a long sweatshirt on over the loose tank I was wearing during class. A hand appears in front of my face.
“Let me help you up, babe.”
I look up to see yet another example of male perfection. Does this gym have a portal to Mount Olympus for the Greek Gods to come and go as they please? Because damn. This is one fine specimen of manhood in front of me.
His voice startles me out of my perusal of his perfection. I reach out and he grabs my hand to pull me up. Only he doesn’t stop there. He pulls me flush to his body and then leans down to whisper in my ear. “It’s okay, babe. Happens all the time when girls look at me.” And crash. There goes my adulation of the man. I knew there was a reason no one believes in the Greek Gods anymore. Vanity is not attractive.
I pull on my hand until he releases me. “Thanks.”
“You okay, sweetheart?” As if I couldn’t be embarrassed enough, now Gabe’s here.
“I’m fine. Just wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see the former Greek God puff out his chest as if I had paid him a compliment. I can’t help it. My eyes narrow at him, and I attempt to engage my eye lasers. Just like the two gazillion other times I’ve tried to use those lasers, they malfunction.
Gabe ignores the entire episode. “You here to do your exercise class?”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “I just put on some workout clothes and then ducked my head under the faucet to get my face and hair wet.”
My personal trainer laughs and grabs my shoulder to give it a squeeze. Why is he squeezing my shoulder? “You’re funny, sweetheart.” I wasn’t going for funny but whatever.
Someone shouts ‘Gabe’ from the other side of the gym. I look over to see the blond bimbo he was training staring daggers at me. Gabe squeezes my shoulder again. “Sorry, sweetheart, I need to get back to work. I’ll see you Wednesday, right?” I nod, and he winks before walking off.
“Looks like I’m not needed here.” I forgot Mr. Vanity was still standing here. I don’t bother responding to his obvious pout. I shake my head and walk to the locker rooms.
I grew-up reading everything I could get my grubby hands on from my mom's Harlequin romances to Nancy Drew to Little Women. When I wasn't flipping pages in a library book, I was penning horrendous poems, writing songs no one should ever sing, or drafting stories which have thankfully been destroyed. College and a stint in the U.S. Army came along, robbing me of free time to write and read, although on the odd occasion I did manage to sneak a book into my rucksack between rolled up socks, MRIs, t-shirts, and cold weather gear.
After surviving the army experience, I went back to school and got my law degree. I jumped ship and joined the hubby in the Netherlands before the graduation ceremony could even begin. A few years into my legal career, I was exhausted, fed up, and just plain done. I quit my job and sat down to write a manuscript, which I promptly hid in the attic after returning to the law. But being a lawyer really wasn’t my thing, so I quit (again!) and went off to Germany to start a B&B.
Turns out being a B&B owner wasn’t my thing either. I polished off that manuscript languishing in the attic before deciding to follow the husband to Istanbul where I decided to give the whole writer-thing a go.
But ten years was too many to stay away from adopted home. I packed up again and moved to The Hague where I’m currently working on my next book. I hope I’ll always be working on my next book.
Fat girl Begone! is my eleventh book.
MY INTERVIEW WITH DE HAGGERTY
How would you describe your style of writing to someone that has never read your work?
Character-driven and dialogue-driven are the words that come to mind. I’m not into long descriptions of character’s outfits and flowery descriptions of rooms and locations the characters spend maybe five minutes in before moving onto the next locale. That drives me crazy when I’m reading. A short description is all I need. This results in a fast-paced narrative. At least that’s the idea.
What are some of your writing/publishing goals for this year?
I’m struggling with my goals at the moment. I moved back to the Netherlands from Istanbul last year. While I was an Istanbul, I was a writing machine bringing out four books in a year. On May 1st, my first book of the year, Fat Girl Begone!, will be released and the year is almost half finished. Oh no! I’m giving myself permission to finish two books this year instead of four. Okay, I’m trying really, really hard to accept that I will only finish two books this year.
Do you feel that writing is an ingrained process or just something that flows naturally for you?
It’s both. How’s that for a recovering lawyer’s answer? What I mean is this. I write an outline (a skimpy outline but an outline nonetheless) and work from that. When the book is finished and I’m self-editing, I always notice some story lines come together in a way which wasn’t planned by me. Almost as if the characters decided to take care of things themselves! I think that’s the natural flow of my writing working. Either that or my characters really do come to life at night. Wouldn’t that be cool?
Where would you spend one full year, if you could go ANYWhere? What would you do with this time?
Yes! An easy question J I’d do an around the world cruise. I love, love, love to travel and have been to a lot of places in the world, but I’m still afflicted with a wicked case of wanderlust. But I don’t like living out of suitcase and definitely not for an entire year. The solution? A fancy schmancy cruise. I’d visit unique cultures and try all kinds of exotic foods. During the travel time on the ship, I’d read and read and read. Now I need to go buy a lottery ticket because this idea sounds like so much fun.
Can you share you next creative project(s)? If yes, can you give a few details?
My next project is one that has been sitting on the shelf for a while. I’m always coming up with excuses to not get started but the simple truth is I’m scared I won’t be able to pull it off. It’s an historical romance set in Istanbul during the Second World War. The romance is between a German consulate worker and an American Jewish woman. I need to do lots and lots of research and somehow make the idea in my head into a story of novel length. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
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